Viv Albertine i els micros oberts

Viv Albertine a Barcelona durant el Primavera Pro 2017 - Foto Facebook. 

"I don't take shit any more when I play. One night in front of a crowd of braying ponytailed old rockers I shout, 'Anyone here ever taken heroin? Made a record?' There's a stunned silence. 'Well I have, so shut the fuck up or go home and polish your guitar.' (They all had perfect, mint-condition guitars that you just know were only taken out of their cases once a week, polished and then put back to bed.) This time I don't take the inevitable 'too much treble' comment from the compère. 'It's meant to be unconfortable', I tell him and turn the treble up even more: I hope it hurts their ears. I begin to enjoy the tension between what the audience expects from a nice-looking woman and what they get - angry words and edgy guitar playing.

After a year and a half of playing open mikes, I'm in a large soulless modern pub in Brighton with an outside barbecue and a cocktail bar. I pour my heart out in my first song, but no one takes any notice, they talk and laugh and shout. I've had enough; what I do doesn't work as background music. I change the words of my next song to 'Fuck, bollocks, cunt, shit, piss, wank' - and every other swear word I can think of - and repeat them over and over again until eventually the whole room goes quiet. When I have their attention I say, 'Thank you and goodnight.' That's the last open mike I play".


Viv Albertine, en un altre fragment de la seva autobiografia, "Clothes, Clothes, Clothes. Music, Music, Music. Boys, Boys, Boys" (2014, publicada recentment en castellà per Anagrama). Després d'aquest episodi Albertine va participar breument d'una gira de reunió de The Slits, va arribar a la conclusió que no tenia sentit reprendre allò que s'havia trencat 25 anys enrere i va decidir-se a emprendre definitivament una carrera en solitari. La seva autobiografia és un dels llibres més inspiradors que mai he arribat a llegir. Aquest fragment no l'he volgut traduir per mantenir la força de la seva versió original.